An everyday tragedy

I have this friend.  I have known her since college.  She was the prettiest girl there.  I mean it.  Drop dead gorgeous- in a smoking hot kind of way, but also really beautiful in a classic Hollywood kind of way.  I (and many others)  was enchanted with her before I knew her.

But we became friends, her, I, and a third.  We were best friends.  She was certainly smart in addition to being pretty.  And she had a depth that radiated with her tastes in music and  fashion, she did well in college and had a lovely interpersonal warmth.

There were also situations that shouldn't be minimized.  Eating disorder, involvement with bad guys, drinking binges, driving anyway, and ultimately an out of wedlock pregnancy, several broken engagements and then a marriage.  We were surprised to hear who she married. He was not anywhere close to being in her league.   But we were happy that she seemed happy.

Over the years there have been encounters-reunions filled with reminiscing and catching up.  They were good.  She seemed good..  Until the last one.  I asked her if she was happy in her marriage and her affirmative nod was not convincing.  She sort of gulped, nodded and then looked way.  Still so very beautiful.  Breathtaking really.  I wasn't sure what to think.  Then another filled me in on some concerns and questions.  After our "girls night out" I learned she wasn't 'allowed' to return home that night.  Despite having bowed out early.  She isn't 'allowed' on fb.  She won't talk about it or leave him and nothing has changed.  She has supportive people in her life, but they aren't really allowed in.

I can explain how upsetting it was to learn this.  I really thought she was living happily.  I was wrong.  Somethings don't change.
A vivid dream about her has triggered this post.  I ache for her.

This picture is of the actress Keri Russell .  In honor of my friend.