Fear and Bravery

Last Saturdays  ‘long’ training run was 6 miles.  No biggie.  But it’s Oklahoma hot and I don’t have a strong mileage base at this point so it felt as though it might have well have been 18.  As I fought through mile four I started focusing on the light poles along Midland Valley Trail.  Run three, walk one, run three, walk one.

Somewhere along the way I started to think about fear.  Maybe it was the yoga class I took the night before, maybe the crazy week I had,  but I meditated on fear as I ran.  Run three, walk one, run three, walk one.

The yoga instructor said the theme of the class was fear and I thought about the pose that scares me. Plough.  I’m not sure what it is about plough, I do the pose- but I feel afraid.  Like my own body is going to crush me, or snap and break my neck.  Run three, walk one, run three, walk one. 

Then there was my work week in which I had one of the most stressful days of my career.  Once in a while, working in behavioral medicine and with combat Veterans to boot- situations can get very intense and frightening very quickly.  Don’t worry, everyone is safe, but I was really scared.  In a juxtaposition,  I also thought about an active therapy case I have in which a Vietnam Veteran is facing the fears/demons/trauma that have been a monkey on his back for the past 40 years.  He is feeling his feelings of acute fear, sadness, and horror for the first time.    It takes courage to be honest with ourselves about what we are feeling. It takes bravery to feel one’s feelings and allow them to be expressed, push through the pain and fear and come out on the other side.  Run FOUR, walk one, Run Four, walk one.

Sometimes it also takes courage to run 6 miles.

Race Report: Race into the New Year

For the second year in a row, Walter and I rang in the New Year (and his birthday) with a 5k put on Runners World Tulsa.   Such a preferred alternative to parties that are never as fun as you anticipate, tipsy resolutions and the inevitable hangover. 

This year the weather was mild, fireworks were bright and the champagne aid stop festive. 

My favorite part of the race, by far, were the hecklers.  Yes- this year there were several groups of drunken hecklers spilling out from parties in apartments along the Riverparks trail.  Here is some of what we heard: 

WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?  WHY ARE YOU RUNNING?

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

STOP RUNNING YOU ARE EXHAUSTING YOURSELF!

and the more encouraging

YOU CAN DO IT!  YOU ARE ALMOST THERE...

Here is a great video that Runner's World put together- makes me think it was actually a pretty magical night. 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=cLoAn7TeI_4


Happy 2014 Everyone!

Reasons are Barriers: Day 25 of Streak

There is no good reason not to run today.  Especially since I ran yesterday and there was an ice storm happening in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  Today is the aftermath.

Really, if you think about it reasons just get in the way.  When it comes to doing things that are important to you long term, but might be easier to skip in the short term.  We can always justify something in the short term.  An excuse.   We can easily put off making that call, taking a risk for our career, saying no, saying I'm sorry, going to the gym or just lacing up some running shoes. Since I've been running in earnest, I've run in heat, cold, humidity, 100+ degrees, -20 degrees, rain, snow and ice.  While I have often fallen for the excuse my mind throws up at me, today is not that day.  Today is day 25 of my streak.  Here are a few pictures of the current conditions.

Half & Half or Double Half: Race Report

I'm sorry to write that my trail shoes had been sitting, caked with mud and motionless near my backdoor ever since the Warrior Princess Angel Run in August.  It felt good to lace them back up and hit the trails last Sunday.  I'd been planning to the Half & Half since late summer, figuring I'd just stay trained up after Rt 66. However, my mind started up  last week throwing all sorts of worries and doubts in my way including:

• You haven't even trained on trails in the past 4 months...
• You might fall or get really hurt...after all, you know people that have broken bones running on Turkey....
• The trails are going to be a muddy, sloppy mess and you will regret running...
• You don't have time for this!  You need to finish getting ready for the holidays...

I tried not to tangle with these intrusive worries-just noticed them and reminded myself that when Sunday morning came and I was Willing to run, I would.  Also, I really can't ever think of a time I've regretted a run. 

Walter dropped me off, it was chilly but there was a festive and energetic vibe.  I'm not sure how many folks were there but I heard they had quite a few registrations at the last minute since the Dallas Marathon was canceled.  Runners were chatty and excited. 

The trails were solid, frozen and not as slippery as I would have thought.  I got back in the groove right away. 

View of Tulsa and the Water Treatment Plant

Colorful runners thread through the trails marked with pink ribbons

Some of the things I thought about as I ran included:

• Writing this blog and some other writing goals
• My friends and family- hoping I get to spend some time with them this season
• Felt grateful for my attentive and loving husband
• Future running/fitness goals

At the half-way mark I was reminded of another reason I love trail running.  Trail runners eat!  Awesome breakfast tacos, fries and hash browns were warm off the grill.  Unfortunately there was only one porta-potty so I had to wait in line.  It was at this point that I let go of any time goals that I might have been softly holding onto.  Oh well.  I would just enjoy a long day in the woods. 

Fries and hashbrowns

Breakfast Tacos- yummmm

Kate and Ed - We had a good chat about the runner / cyclist rivalry.

On the way back in, it started warming up.  Trails got muddy.  I got tired.  At one point the trail runs along I-75, my mind suggested that I just crawl down the embankment to the road and have Walter pick me up.  But then I considered that I was wearing a timing chip and it would come out DNF.  I've never had a DNF and I didn't like this idea.  So I kept running.  And walking when I felt like it.  The aid stations were great as were all the volunteers.  Seeing TZ along the way was great too- he is always encouraging.

I called Walter to let him know it was much slower going than I expected, but he was already waiting for me at the finish.  He got some great shots as I brought it home.

Lipbuster

Someone is getting some flowers!

I think they spotted their mom

Winter berries at the finish

I did it!  Next year, the road half to 'complete' my medal.  

Williams Rt 66 Half Marathon: Race Report

Up to this point in time, my fastest half marathon was the first one I ever ran.  The Glass City Half Marthon in 2009 at 2:49.  A 2010 go 'round with the Rt 66 half was disappointing.  Story of that here.   All of the others...have qualifiers....two were on trails so they can't compare...and the other road half I completed was when I doubled at Post Oak in 2011, running 25k on trails one day and 13.1 on roads the next.   Everything looked good for a personal best this year.

I took the training runs pretty seriously- even the 'fluff' weekday runs. I ran three miles, three days a week and long runs with my training group on Saturday mornings. In the past 10 months I also worked hard to loose some weight. Taking off 12 pounds really helped me speed up and I consistently ran 11-12 minute miles. (Which is fast for me!)

Race day weather forecast was discouraging. The forecast was flirting with a chance of precipitation and a high of freezing. When race day arrived, it was very cold but no snow or sleet. I dressed with two layers, gloves and fleece headband. Walter dropped me off downtown and I made my way into the crowd to find my starting corral. I ran into friends and we chatted as we endured the coldest part of the day- waiting to run! It took about 20 minutes for us to cross the start line.

I ran hard most of the race. I passed friends and the signs along the route really kept me entertained. My favorite said: Getting out of bed to cheer for you wasn't easy either!

The bandit aid stations cracked me up! There was one guy playing his bongo drums and singing his heart out, several with bottles of booze and a friend was very organized with beer and jello shots. (Yay Smackalonian!)

I kept running hard. Rt 66 is a very hilly course. I didn't see Walter or anyone else I knew as a I crossed the finish line. The hot spaghetti and meat sauce was really good and I found Walter looking for me right outside the food tent.

When my official time came through at 2:30:51, I was super happy. It was a good day and a great race.  I ate a second spaghetti and meatball meal that afternoon, soaked in a hot tub and iced my knees much later than I should have.  Good times. 

Do your Colors Run?

Today Tulsa Area Trail and Ultra Runners (TATUR)  announced they are helping bring a new 5k to Tulsey Town called The Color Run on June 23rd, 2012.  Just imagine, you could be a 'human canvas' starting out in all white, with a new hue added each kilometer before finishing in a literal rainbow of color.  The color is reportedly "a special elf made recipe of magical dust".  Now doesn't that sound enchanting?  Watch this trailer to get the idea.

Pretty colors right?  Anyone out there run this before?  Who is signing up?  Meeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.  The Color Run Charity here in Tulsa is Tulsa River Parks, so it supports a great cause too.